THE MUSLIM WIFE
BY SUFI MUHAMMED IQBAL SAHIB
CHAPTER ONE: THE PURPOSE OF MARRAIGE
"And among His signs is that He has created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them and He has put mercy and love between your hearts." [30; 21]
In this verse of the Quran Allah Ta'ala describes the wisdom and purpose of creating women that they are a source of peace and tranquility for man. Every need a man desires from a woman centres around the achievement of this tranquility. This is the basis of a sucessful marriage. The marriage that produces this is a successful marriage; the marriage that denies this is an unsuccessful marriage.
This peace of mind and tranquility can only be achieved when both the partners understand each other's duties, rights and responsibilities and then fulfil these. These mutual rights are of such a nature that no law can truly govern them nor can any system of justice jurisdicate over them. It is merely the fear of Allah and the dread of prosecution in the Divine Court of Justice that can truly spur the couple to fulfil their duties to each other. As an added favour however, Allah has created such a bond of affection and love between them that surpasses all legal restrictions and encourages them towards the fulfilling of each other's rights.
CHAPTER TWO: MUTUAL RELATIONSHIP- MUTUAL RIGHTS
Just as love is mutual and common to both partners so are the rights devolving upon them two-sided. "And women shall have rights similar to the rights upon them" [2; 228] Allah Ta'ala in His infinite mercy and wisdom has mentioned the rights of women before the rights of men in this verse because man due to his inherent power and strength easily obtains his rights from the woman; thus more prominance has been accorded to the rights of women who cannot forcibly obtain their rights. The second point of note in this verse is that man should take the initiative to fulfil his responsibilities because the Quraan had made mention of her rights first.
CHAPTER THREE: PROPHETIC KINDNESS TO WOMEN
Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam) greatly enhanced the respect and status of women and took great care and concern in their affairs. Trivial acts of worship by women have been equated to great acts of effort and exertion by men. Allah in His wisdom had created women physically weak and fragile in order that the responsibility of supporting and providing for them be placed upon men's shoulders. At the same time man has been directed to be kind, considerate, indulging and forgiving towards them and he has been warned sternly from oppressing them in anyway.
CHAPTER FOUR: FORTY AHAADITH
On the occasion of Hajjatul-Wida (The Farewell Hajj) Rasulullah [Sallallahu alayhi Wasallam] among other advices said with regard to women; "0 People! fear Allah with regard to your wives. You have taken them into your possession [marriage] with the permission of Allah."
*This hadith clearly admonishes man not to abuse his authority over woman and to fear his Creator in regard to his dealings with them as Allah has placed them in his trust, by making them lawful for him through the sacred bond of nikah. If the husband maltreats them, in reality he is misappropriating the trust that Allah has entrusted to him,
What an honourable position Islam has secured for women that Allah himself takes their affairs as His responsibility!
Rasulullah [Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam) said: "I enjoin upon you [as my parting advice] the importance of good conduct f to your womenfolk"
*Good conduct and behavior is necessary towards; everyone but Rasulullah [Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam] has; singled out womenfolk with the emphatical term of "wasiyat" [last advices and bequests] which everyone grants great importance and significance, This is sufficient to explain the importance of kindness to women.
HADITH 3 & 4
Rasulullah [Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam) said: "Amongst the most perfect of mumins in Imaan is he who is best Character and amongst the best of them is he who kindest towards his wife."
Rasulullah [Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam] said: "He is the best amongst you who is the kindest towards his wives and I am the kindest amongst you towards my wives."
*Thus Rasulullah [Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam] not only issued a theoretical directive towards achieving superiority amongst the mumins but he also achieved this distinction amongst the rest of his followers by practically displaying the ultimate degree of kindness and affection towards his family
Rasulullah [Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam] said: "The woman who dies in the state of her husband being pleased with her will enter Jannah [paradise]."
*How simple Islam has made matters for the believing women that for them paradise can be acquired by minimal effort.
Hazrat Abu Darda (R.A.) said: My beloved master, Rasulullah [Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam] advised me to spend upon my family according to my means."
Rasulullah [Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam] said: "The woman I that does her domestic chores [cheerfully] attains the rank of those upholding Jihaad."
Rasulullah [Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam] said: "By assisting your wives in their household matters you men receive the reward of sadaqah [charity]"
*The religion of Islam has encouraged men to assist their wives by promising them rewards for this service. In this way Islam has secured the comfort of women.
Rasulullah [Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam] said: "The woman who reads her five namaazes, fasts in the month of Ramadhan, protects her chastity and is obedient to her I husband; such a woman will enter into Jannah from any of the doors she wishes to enter from."
*In other words if she fulfils the basic Islamic duties upon (her then without great exertion in ibadah and worship she will attain lofty stages.
Rasulullah [Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam] said: "The woman that is obedient and subservient to her husband; the birds in the air, fish in the sea, angels in the sky and animals in the jungles seek forgiveness for her"
*After her sins have been forgiven her stages are elevated.
Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam) said: "0 women! Remember, those who are pious and upright amongst you they will enter Jannah before the pious men. These women will then be bathed, perfumed, and presented to their husbands on red and yellow mounts. They will have such children with them who will resemble scattered pearls."
Rasulullah [Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam] said: "Allah's mercies decends upon those women who perform their tahajjud salaat and awaken their husbands also to do the same".
Rasulullah [Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam] said: "The woman that dies in her virginity or during her pregnancy or at the time of birth or thereafter [in nifaas] will attain the rank of shahadat [matyrdom]".
Rasulullah [Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam] said: "Does it not please you [0 women!] that when you conceive from your husband while he is pleased with you then that woman will receive such reward equal to that of a person fasting in the path of Allah and spending the night in worship; then when her labour pain commences the inhabitants of the earth and the sky are unaware of the stores of comfort that are prepared for her; when she delivers and breastfeeds her child then she will be granted a reward for every gulp of milk; and if she had to remain awake during the night for the sake of her child she will receive the reward of emancipating seventy slaves in the path of Allah. O Salamat! do you know who these women are? They are pious, upright, delicately natured but yet are obedient to I their husbands and not ungrateful to them."
Rasulullah [Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam] said: "When a woman spends from her husbands wealth in Allah's path, without destroying his property then she is also rewarded for spending from his wealth. The husband is also, rewarded, for earning the wealth and the treasurer also receives rewards. None of their rewards are decreased."
Rasulullah [Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam] said: "0 women! Your jihaad is haj."
Rasulullah [Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam] said: "Women do not have to perform the jihaad, the Juma prayers or the janaza salaat."
Rasulullah [Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam] said: "Allah is pleased with those women who love and have affection for their husbands and protect themselves from other men."
*It means that they are not ashamed of pleasing and showing their love for their husbands as is the habit of proud women. Allah's pleasure is a great treasure.
Rasulullah [Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam] said: "Women are part of men."
Rasulullah [Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam] said: "Accept my goodly advice with regard to women because they have been created from a rib."
*It means that perfection and rectitude should not be sought of them as it is not within their nature; thus men should patiently overlook their faults and shortcomings.
Rasulullah [Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam] said: "The best of women is one that pleases her husband when he glances at her; obeys him when he commands her and does not oppose him and displease him in matters regarding her body and wealth."
Rasulullah [Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam] prayed "May Allah's mercy be upon those women who don the izaar (trouser)"
*In other words they take extra precautions in concealing their bodies and maintaining their purdah.
Rasulullah [Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam] said: "The evil of an evil woman surpasses the evil of a thousand wicked men and the virtue of a virtuous woman surpasses the worship of seventy Awliya (pious servants of Allah)".
Rasulullah [Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam] said: "The best amongst your wives are those that are most chaste and pure and greatly love their husbands"
*Loving one's husband is pleasing to the nafs yet it has been made an act of reward and virtue.
One person said to Rasulullah [Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam] "When I enter my home my wife says to me 'Welcome O my sardar (master) and the master of my house!' and when I am grieved over anything she consoles me by saying 'Why be grieved over a wordly matter; your hereafter is being made. Rasulullah [Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam] said: "Inform this woman that she is amongst those who are doing the work of Allah and she receives half the reward of those doing jihaad."
*Such great rewards merely on welcoming the husband home and consoling him on his troubles.
Asma bint Yazeed (R.A.) once came to Rasulullah [Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam] as an ambassador of the ladies and said "Men have surpassed us in rewards through juma, congregational prayers, visiting the ill, participating in funeral prayers and protecting the borders of the Islamic State." Rasulullah [Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam] sent her with the message "Your adorning and beautifying yourselves for your husbands and your strivings to please your husbands and your obedience to the wishes of your husbands equals these actions (juma, jihaad etc.) in rewards."
Rasulullah [Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam] said: "A woman, from her pregnancy to the time of weaning her child is like one protecting the boundaries of the Islamic State; and if she expires during this period she attains the reward of martyrdom."
Rasulullah [Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam] said: "When the woman breastfeeds then on every gulp of milk she receives the reward as though she has granted life to a being and when she weans her child then the angels pat her on her back saying "Congratulations! all your past sins have been forgiven; now start all over again."
*By sins is intented the minor sins; this is also a great reward
Hadrat Aisha (R.A.) reports that "The woman whose husband is absent and in this state she protects her chastity, leaving all forms of beautification and adornment, remaining within her home and remaining steadfast on namaaz; she will be resurrected on the day of Qiyamah as a Virgin girl. If her husband was a mu'min (believer) then she will remain his wife in jannah; and if he happens to be a disbeliever then she will be married to a martyr."
Hadrat Ali (R.A.) said: "Man cannot become the leader of his house unless he is not concerned about what he wears and how he appeases his hunger."
*These who are only concerned about their own needs in food and dressing and neglect their families should take heed from this.
Hakim bin Mua'wiya (R.A.) enquired from Rasulullah [Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam] regarding the rights of women over their husbands? Rasulullah [Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam] said: "When you eat, feed her and when you dress, dress her; do not smite her accross the face and do not boycott her but within the house."
*Do not leave her alone in the house in the state of anger and dissappear.
Rasulullah [Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam] said: "The mu'min husband should not dispise his mu'min wife because if there is any quality he dislikes in her he will certainly be pleased another."
Rasulullah [Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam] said: "The woman whose three children die and she patiently bears this tragedy, in the hope of reward, will be granted jannah. One woman enquired what the reward of two children was? He replied "The same reward."
One Sahabi (R.A.) enquired about the reward of one child? He replied "This also carries tremendous rewards."
Rasulullah [Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam] said: "Even the miscarried foetus will drag it's mother towards jannah if she exercised patience with the hope of acquiring rewards."
Rasulullah [Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam] said: "The best of wealth is a righteous woman who pleases her husband when he sees her; she obeys whenever he commands her and when her husband is absent she protects her chastity and respect."
When Rasulullah [Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam] used to be in privacy with his wives he would be extremely kind and obliging and would smile and remain pleased with all.
Rasulullah [Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam] said: "0 Man! there is reward for you even in having sexual relations with your wife.
On the occasion of the journey of the farewell Hajj the womenfolk were mounted on camels that were being driven fast, upon which Rasulullah [Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam] prevented this saying "They (women) are (comparable to) glass (in fragility). Steer (their camels) slowly."
MARRIAGE: AN IBADAT
Islam has not only considered marriage a necessity of life but has granted it the status of worship (Ibadat) whereby a man could attain the proximity and closeness of Allah Taala
This is why Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam) has practically demonstrated this to us by his personal example of kindness and goodwill towards woman.
"The best of you is he who is best to his wife and I am the best amongst you towards my wives." This is why those who study his lifestyle find justice, fairplay and consideration towards the fairer sex as part of his nature; such justice that great claimants of equality and champions of human rights have failed to display in their lives. There is no parallel to be found to the great concern Rasulullah [Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam] showed in pleasing his wives with various forms of legal entertainment. So concerned was he for the fairer sex that a beloved worship such as namaz he would shorten upon the wailing of a troubled child in order that no heartache overcome it's mother. There could be no greater sacrifice than foregoing the most beloved occupation of life and this Rasulullah [Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam] did simply to avoid distress and heartache to a common woman from amongst his congregation. It is hoped that every upright believer would readily comply to the teachings of Islam with regard to woman observing Rasulullah [Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam]'s directives and noble example in this matter.
THE STATUS OF WOMAN IN ISLAM
May we be sacrificed upon our noble Master Rasulullah [Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam] and the religion he has brought for us; the religion that teaches man the honour of the other human being; teaches him the lesson of justice and honesty; grants womankind such rights as though she is free to regulate her own affairs (with regard to her personal
self and her wealth) so much so that no person including her father or grandfather may forcibly marry her to anyone against her own will; and if it was done so then it would remain suspended unless she consented to its validity. Similarly she is under no compulsion with regard to the utilization of her wealth. She is justly appointed a share of her deceased's estate along with other inheritors. Islam has ordained pleasing her and supporting her an act of worship and ibadat. If the husband is neglectful of her compulsory rights she is entitled to file a suit against him in a court of justice and nullify; the marriage bond if he persists in neglecting his marital responsibilities.
To deprive the woman from the leadership of man is not only a cause of chaos but also injustice to women. Just as Islam has forbidden the oppression of rights so has Islam regarded as oppression to deprive women the leadership of men and to leave them defenceless; to fend for and support themselves because the structure and make-up of women cannot shoulder this tremendous burden; her speciality is the efficient administering of her domestic chores and nuturing her offspring. On the other hand men have been commanded to be tolerant, patient and magnanimous in discharging their responsibilities towards their wives. Islam has forbidden unnecessary suspicion and spying and has laid down golden rules for the upkeep of a pleasant society. One example of such teachings is the rule when returning home from a lenghty journey; never to barge into the house without prior notification to the wife as she may be in an unkempt state and this may have adverse effects on the marriage if the husband is disconcerted by finding her in this state. This is the great lengths Islam has taken to upkeep marital harmony upon which hinges a sound and healthy societv.
STRATEGY TOWARDS FULFILLING RIGHTS
Islam is a natural religion and it's teachings are suited to human needs perfectly. Every teaching individually contains great benefit but true expedience can be experienced only when every teaching is coupled with the total of Islamic teachings; like the cog in the machinary that operates in symphony with the rest of the parts produces maximum results; every teaching correlated with the collective teachings of Islam produce maximum benefit. Nonetheless every individual teaching is beneficial to some degree. The frame work of Shariat comprises the following basic teachings:
1. Correct beiefs
2. Righteous deeds
3. Sincerity and morality
4. Control of the nafs at the time of conflicting emotions; to recall the reprisal of the hereafter where for every act of oppression years of accepted and sincere worship in the form of namaz, roza, etc. will be confiscated to fulfil the rights of the oppressed ones.
5. If by error any such action was perpetrated then with great remorse and regret one should repent and beg Allah for forgiveness and implore the oppressed one for clemency, no matter how humiliating such a process maybe, even if the person happens to be a subordinate such as the servant or the wife.
So weighty is the matter of "Huqooqul-lbaad" that Rasulullah [Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam] despite being the noble leader and benefactor to his companions; companions who would sarifice their lives to prevent the minutest difficulty to their beloved master; a master who possessed such lofty character that Allah himself lauds it in the Quraan "Certainly thou art upon the noblest of character" 68;03, despite all these factors at the time of his demise, in a state of pain and feverish weakness he ascended the pulpit of his blessed masjid, his beloved head enshrouded in a bandage, taking the support of his cousin Fadhl bin Abbas (R.A.) gathers his companions and commences a sermon with the praise and glory of Almighty Allah, explaining that the moments of departure have dawned. Rasulullah [Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam] openly permits anyone that he had wronged in anyway to gladly come forward and avenge their wrongs; that person should not fear the slightest retribution or displeasure of Rasulullah [Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam], as it is not his habit to harbour malice against anyone nor is it befitting him. I love that person who avenges himself or either opts to forgive me. I wish to meet Allah with a clear conscience, I do not suffice upon one announcement. I will repeat this announcement.
After the Zuhr prayer of that day he re-ascended the mimbar and repeated his sermon; furthermore advicing those who were in credit with their rights to fulfil their rights at the closest opportunity and to reject the fear of disgrace and humiliation this might result in, for verily the disgrace of the Aakhirah is much severer. One of the companions arose and exclaimed that Rasulullah [Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam] owed three dirhams to him. In reply Rasulullah [Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam] said: "I do not falsify the claiment nor do I demand a sworn statement from him; I merely wish to understand the circumstances surrounding this debt." The person replied that once a beggar asked of Rasulullah [Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam] and he was referred to him; hence the debt. Rasulullah [Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam] asked Hadrat Fadhl to repay the man. Various other people requested duaas for varying needs; some began confessing their shortcomings. Hadrat Umar (R.A.) chided them for revealing their own faults but Rasulullah [Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam] prevented him saying "0 Umar! the disgrace of the world is insignificant compared to the disgrace of the Hereafter." Hadrat Umar (R.A.) addressed the crowd regarding some matter; whereupon Rasulullah [Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam] said "Umar is with me and I am with Umar. After me the Haq will follow Umar." Thereafter Rasulullah [Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam] delivered the same sermon to the womenfolk in the house of Hadrat Ai'sha [R.A.]. Here too, the sermon was repeated.
A SATANIC DECEPTION: WORD OF WARNING
Husband and wife should constantly remember that shortcomings on behalf of anyone partner does not warrant or sanction that the other partner reciprocate by neglecting the rights of the defaulting partner. This is a satanic deception that if the husband or wife is negligent in fulfilling their marital responsibilities or are involved in the commision of sins that the wronged partner should react in a similar manner. This warped thinking is destructive. Every individual has to go into his own grave; every person will have to face his Creator and answer about his doings. The hereafter should be the main concern; with a little sacrifice and tolerance in this transitory life the everlasting bounties of paradise could easily be acquired. On the otherhand if both the partners are constantly mindful of fulfilling each others rights then this world will become a paradise for them; and will ensure tremendous rewards for them in the hereafter. Their earthly existence will be one of peace and pleasure and Allah will open for them in times of difficulties, unseen doors of help and aid. The first step in the direction of attaining this "blissful existence" as promised by the Ouraan: "Those who do good actions from male and female and they are believers .We will certainly grant them a blissful life." is by acquiring the basic knowledge Deen. A very elementary syllabus towards this end is the careful study of the following books:
1.TABLIGHI NISAB (1 & 2)
2. TALIMUL ISLAM
3. BEHISTI ZEWAR
Home - Quran & Hadith Charity - Family & Health Islam Miscellaneous Matrimonials
Human Rights - Women Newscenter Boycott Chechnya Palestine - Links