Teaching Children Good Manners

   Just as a child should be taught ritual acts of worship, he should
also be taught good habits and etiquette until they become second
nature to him. The Prophet [peace be upon him (PBUH)]
said: "Believers who have the most perfect Iman (faith) are those who
have the best manners."
   
   Good manners are an acquired trait that must be adopted from a
young age. Of such manners are the following:
  
   1. Teaching the child to be respectful and dutiful to his parents:
   
   The first person from whom a child learns good manners is the
father. If a child is raised in a good Islamic home, then it would be
natural for him to treat his parents respectfully.
   
   Allah says: "And your Rabb (Lord) has decreed that you should
worship none but Him and be kind to parents. If one or both of them
reach old age during your lifetime, never say 'uff' (an _expression of
displeasure), nor scold them, but address them politely. And humble
yourself to them out of mercy and say, 'O my Rabb (Lord,) be merciful
to them for having reared me from young age.'" (Holy Qur'an,
17: 23,
24)
  
   2. Teaching them to maintain good relations with relatives:
  
   Sound rearing also stipulates teaching children to maintain good
relations with their relatives. Allah says: ''Worship Allah, and
associate no partners with Him, and be kind to parents, next of kin,
the orphans, the needy, the related neighbors, the next-door
neighbors, the wayfarer and to the slaves that you own." (Holy
Qur'an,
4: 36)
   
   The fulfillment of this Divine command can be accomplished only by
sound rearing which makes them grow attached to their relatives out
of obedience to Allah.
   
   Since relatives are an extension of the family, then strengthening
ties with them strengthens the whole family and it is like
strengthening the whole community and this reflects an Islamic
community that enjoys a cohesive structure. The Prophet (PBUH)
said: "The believers in their reciprocal love and mercy are like a
human body, when one of its organs suffer, the rest of the body is
kept awake and suffers fever."
  
   3. Inculcating in children brotherly love:
   
   Brotherly love and believers' solidarity must be embedded in the
children's minds and that the believers are brothers-in-faith. For
example to follow the pious predecessors, the Muhajireen and the
Ansar, whose brotherly love and altruism Allah commends in His Book.
   
   Giving a friendly gesture or a happy greeting to Muslim brothers
generates friendliness in their hearts and, strengthens the love
among the believers. This indeed is a fine trait, which is instructed
by Allah, the Exalted. He describes the believers saying: "They are
merciful to one another but harsh to the infidels." (Holy Qur'an, 48:
29)
  
   Allah also addressed His Messenger (PBUH) saying: "And were you to
be harsh and hard-hearted, they would have broken away from you."
(Holy Qur'an, 3:159)
  
   4. Good words:
   
   Giving a good word is a type of remembrance of Allah, telling the
truth, guarding one's own tongue against slandering other people are
good deeds. The best Muslim, according to the Prophet (PBUH) is the
one from whose tongue the Muslims feel safe.
   
   Parents should make their children aware of the gravity of abusing
others with their tongue and of the fact that the tongue is a double-
sided and dangerous weapon. Therefore, they should be warned in
particular against abusing it.
  
    Warning children against backbiting and slandering
   
   Children should be taught that backbiting is speaking slanderously
about an absent person. The Prophet (PBUH) said: "Do you know what is
Gheebah
(backbiting)?" They said: "Allah and His Messenger know

best." He said: "It is to attribute to your brother what he
dislikes." He was asked: "What do you think if what I say about my
brother is true?" He said: "If what you attribute to him is true,
then you have backbitten him, and if it is not true, then you have
lied about him."
   
   While Nameemah (talebearing) is to circulate slanderous rumors
between two persons to damage or sever the ties between them.
The

Prophet (PBUH) said: "No Nammam (talebearer) will be admitted to
Jannah (
Paradise)."
   
   Deriding people in their presence by making negative facial
expressions or by hand gestures while they are unaware is forbidden
in Islam.
  
    Warning them against lying
   
   Children must be taught to tell the truth and to keep away from
lying, which is the most horrible habit. The Prophet (PBUH)
said: "There are four traits whoever possesses them is a sheer
hypocrite, and he who possesses one of them, possesses a trait of
hypocrisy unless he quits it. They are: when he speaks, he tells
lies; and when he enters into an agreement, he acts unfaithfully; and
when he promises, he breaches his promise; and when he litigates, he
behaves treacherously. While the liar receives the anger of Allah on
the Day of Resurrection."

  
   He also said: "Lying leads to Hell-Fire and truthfulness leads to
Jannah."
   
   Parents should not take this evil habit lightly, or consider it
funny when their children tell lies because later on it becomes easy
for them to lie without any compunction.
  
    Abusing others
   
   Among the worst of manners is reviling people and swearing at
them. If this bad habit is not redressed while the child is growing
up, it becomes hard for him to avoid it later on.
   
   Islam enjoins guarding the tongues. The Prophet (PBUH) said: "He
who guarantees, what is in between his jaws (tongue), and what is in
between his thighs (private parts), I guarantee Jannah for him."
   
   This means guarding one's own tongue against uttering anything
that displeases Allah, and guarding one's own private parts against
committing illicit acts or fornication.
  
   From: Guidelines For Raising Children
  
   

Tuesday : 30/12/2003
Teaching Children Good Manners



(Islamweb


   Just as a child should be taught ritual acts of worship, he should
also be taught good habits and etiquette until they become second
nature to him. The Prophet [peace be upon him (PBUH)]
said: "Believers who have the most perfect Iman (faith) are those who
have the best manners."
   
   Good manners are an acquired trait that must be adopted from a
young age. Of such manners are the following:
  
   1. Teaching the child to be respectful and dutiful to his parents:
   
   The first person from whom a child learns good manners is the
father. If a child is raised in a good Islamic home, then it would be
natural for him to treat his parents respectfully.
   
   Allah says: "And your Rabb (Lord) has decreed that you should
worship none but Him and be kind to parents. If one or both of them
reach old age during your lifetime, never say 'uff' (an _expression of
displeasure), nor scold them, but address them politely. And humble
yourself to them out of mercy and say, 'O my Rabb (Lord,) be merciful
to them for having reared me from young age.'" (Holy Qur'an,
17: 23,
24)
  
   2. Teaching them to maintain good relations with relatives:
  
   Sound rearing also stipulates teaching children to maintain good
relations with their relatives. Allah says: ''Worship Allah, and
associate no partners with Him, and be kind to parents, next of kin,
the orphans, the needy, the related neighbors, the next-door
neighbors, the wayfarer and to the slaves that you own." (Holy
Qur'an,
4: 36)
   
   The fulfillment of this Divine command can be accomplished only by
sound rearing which makes them grow attached to their relatives out
of obedience to Allah.
   
   Since relatives are an extension of the family, then strengthening
ties with them strengthens the whole family and it is like
strengthening the whole community and this reflects an Islamic
community that enjoys a cohesive structure. The Prophet (PBUH)
said: "The believers in their reciprocal love and mercy are like a
human body, when one of its organs suffer, the rest of the body is
kept awake and suffers fever."
  
   3. Inculcating in children brotherly love:
   
   Brotherly love and believers' solidarity must be embedded in the
children's minds and that the believers are brothers-in-faith. For
example to follow the pious predecessors, the Muhajireen and the
Ansar, whose brotherly love and altruism Allah commends in His Book.
   
   Giving a friendly gesture or a happy greeting to Muslim brothers
generates friendliness in their hearts and, strengthens the love
among the believers. This indeed is a fine trait, which is instructed
by Allah, the Exalted. He describes the believers saying: "They are
merciful to one another but harsh to the infidels." (Holy Qur'an, 48:
29)
  
   Allah also addressed His Messenger (PBUH) saying: "And were you to
be harsh and hard-hearted, they would have broken away from you."
(Holy Qur'an, 3:159)
  
   4. Good words:
   
   Giving a good word is a type of remembrance of Allah, telling the
truth, guarding one's own tongue against slandering other people are
good deeds. The best Muslim, according to the Prophet (PBUH) is the
one from whose tongue the Muslims feel safe.
   
   Parents should make their children aware of the gravity of abusing
others with their tongue and of the fact that the tongue is a double-
sided and dangerous weapon. Therefore, they should be warned in
particular against abusing it.
  
    Warning children against backbiting and slandering
   
   Children should be taught that backbiting is speaking slanderously
about an absent person. The Prophet (PBUH) said: "Do you know what is
Gheebah
(backbiting)?" They said: "Allah and His Messenger know

best." He said: "It is to attribute to your brother what he
dislikes." He was asked: "What do you think if what I say about my
brother is true?" He said: "If what you attribute to him is true,
then you have backbitten him, and if it is not true, then you have
lied about him."
   
   While Nameemah (talebearing) is to circulate slanderous rumors
between two persons to damage or sever the ties between them.
The

Prophet (PBUH) said: "No Nammam (talebearer) will be admitted to
Jannah (
Paradise)."
   
   Deriding people in their presence by making negative facial
expressions or by hand gestures while they are unaware is forbidden
in Islam.
  
    Warning them against lying
   
   Children must be taught to tell the truth and to keep away from
lying, which is the most horrible habit. The Prophet (PBUH)
said: "There are four traits whoever possesses them is a sheer
hypocrite, and he who possesses one of them, possesses a trait of
hypocrisy unless he quits it. They are: when he speaks, he tells
lies; and when he enters into an agreement, he acts unfaithfully; and
when he promises, he breaches his promise; and when he litigates, he
behaves treacherously. While the liar receives the anger of Allah on
the Day of Resurrection."

  
   He also said: "Lying leads to Hell-Fire and truthfulness leads to
Jannah."
   
   Parents should not take this evil habit lightly, or consider it
funny when their children tell lies because later on it becomes easy
for them to lie without any compunction.
  
    Abusing others
   
   Among the worst of manners is reviling people and swearing at
them. If this bad habit is not redressed while the child is growing
up, it becomes hard for him to avoid it later on.
   
   Islam enjoins guarding the tongues. The Prophet (PBUH) said: "He
who guarantees, what is in between his jaws (tongue), and what is in
between his thighs (private parts), I guarantee Jannah for him."
   
   This means guarding one's own tongue against uttering anything
that displeases Allah, and guarding one's own private parts against
committing illicit acts or fornication.
  
   From: Guidelines For Raising Children
  
   

Tuesday : 30/12/2003
http://www.islamweb.net/web/misc.Article?vArticle=53807&thelang=E

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