Waikhfid lahuma janaha alththulli mina alrrahmati waqul rabbi irhamhuma kama rabbayanee sagheeran

And lower unto them the wing of submission and humility through mercy, and say: "My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did cherish me during childhood" (17:24)

Being Good to your Parents

In today’s rapid-paced life, we often tend to get so

busy that we forget our parents’ rights.  Family
values have significantly dropped in our lives, and
our friends often become more important to us than our
own relatives.



What better can emphasize the good treatment of our
parents than the following verse from the Qur’an:-

Waqada rabbuka alla taAAbudoo illa iyyahu wabialwalidayni ihsanan imma yablughanna AAindaka alkibara ahaduhuma aw kilahuma fala taqul lahuma offin wala tanharhuma waqul lahuma qawlan kareeman

And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour (17:23).

There are two noteworthy conclusions that may be noticed from this
verse.  First, Allah the Exalted has called for good
treatment of parents immediately after ordering us to
worship Him.  This proves the importance of being kind
to our parents and the elevated status in which Allah
(SWT) has placed parents in our lives.  Second, He has
ordered us not to utter even the least of
inappropriate comments to them; thus it is very
surprising that some people yell at their parents or
even tell them to shut up.
Furthermore, when Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon
him) was asked which deed was the best, he replied:
“The prayer at its appointed hour”. He was asked:
“Then what?”, to which he replied: “Kindness to the
parents”. Again he was asked: “Then what?”.  He
replied: “Earnest struggle (Jihad) in the cause of
Allah [Muslim].”
Whether or not you live with your parents, or if both
of them are still alive, here are some tips to a good
relationship with them:
If you live with your parents
Bring something home every now and then.  For example,
buy them a gift or a cake whenever you receive your
paycheck.
Make sure to spend time with them every day, whether
it be for reciting Qur’an or reading hadiths together,
conducting household chores, or just plain friendly
talk.
Take them out.  My mother is extremely happy when I go
out for a walk with her.
Obeying whatever they ask you to do, as long as it
complies with Islam.
If you don’t live with your parents
Visit them regularly -- say once a week or every two
weeks.
If you are unable to visit them often because you live
far away for example, then do the next best thing and
call them frequently.  Also, you may send them
letters, and don’t forget greeting cards on Islamic
occasions (Ramadan, Eid, etc.)
If one or both of your parents have passed away
In the authentic hadith, a man came to the Prophet
(may peace be upon him) and asked him whether he can
do any good for his parents after they passed away.
The Prophet (may peace be upon him) told him to do the
following:
·        Supplication and istighfar for them,
·        Executing their will,
·        Connecting with relatives that are likely to
be cut with the parents’ death, and
·      Honoring their friends
In another hadith, the Prophet (may peace be upon him)
also taught us that among the good deeds that benefit
one who has passed away is a ‘righteous son that
supplicates for him/her.’
Difficulties with parents
Reverts to Islam often tend to face difficulties with
their non-Muslim parents.  Likewise, Muslims who take
up new acts of worship (such as growing a beard or
wearing niqab) might get into unpleasant situations
with them.  Although one should not abandon such acts
of worship in order to obey one’s parents, one should
still retain a good relationship with both parents and
treat them kindly.  Allah the Exalted has ordered us
to obey our parents even if they are non-Muslims –
but, once again, as long as what they ask complies
with Islam.  Conditions such as this require a good
deal of patience and can be considered opportunities
to show your parents that your newly-found beliefs
have actually made you better and closer to them.

Finally, I would like to close with the supplication
of prophet Ibrahim (may peace be upon him) as in the
Qur’an:-

Rabbi ijAAalnee muqeema alssalati wamin thurriyyatee rabbana wtaqabbal duAAai

"O my Lord! Make me one who performs As-Salât (Iqâmat-as-Salât), and (also) from my offspring, our Lord! And accept my invocation (14:40).

Rabbi ighfir lee waliwalidayya waliman dakhala baytiya muminan walilmumineena waalmuminati wala tazidi alththalimeena illa tabaran

"Our Lord! Forgive me and my parents, and (all) the believers on the Day when the reckoning will be established" (14:41)

Home - Quran & Hadith – Charity - Family & Health – Islam – Miscellaneous – Matrimonials

Human Rights - Women – Newscenter – Boycott – Chechnya – Palestine - Links