- The many customs as regards engagement are
contrary to Sunnah. In fact, many are against
the Sharee'ah and are regarded sins. A verbal
proposal and answer is sufficient.
2. To unnecessarily delay nikaah of both the
boy and the girl after having reached the age of marriage is incorrect.
3. There is nothing wrong in inviting one's close associates for the
occasion of nikaah. However, no special pains
should be taken in gathering the people from far off places.
4. It is appropriate that the bridegroom be a few years older than the
5. If the father of the girl is an aalim or pious
and capable of performing nikaah, then he should
himself solemnize the marriage.
6. It is better to give the Mahr Faatimi and one should endeavour
to do so. But if one does not have the means then there is nothing wrong
in giving less.
7. It is totally un-Islaamic for those, who
do not possess the means, to incur debts in order to have grandiose
8. It is fallacy to think that one's respect will be lost if one does
not hold an extravagant wedding and invite many people. What is our
respect compared to that of Rasoolullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam?
9. The present day practice of the intermingling of sexes is an act of
sin and totally against Sharee'ah.
10. There is nothing such as engagement parties and mendhi parties in Islaam.
11. Great care must be taken as regards to Salaat
on occasions of marriage by all - the bride, the bridegroom and all the
12. It is un-Islaamic to display the bride
13. The unnecessary expenses incurred by the bride's family in holding
a feast has no basis in Sharee'ah.
14. For the engaged couple to meet at a public gathering where the boy
holds the girl's hand and slips a ring on her finger is a violation of the
Qur'aanic law of hijaab.
15. It is un-Islaamic for the engaged couple
to meet each other and also go out together.
16. Three things should be borne in mind when giving one's daughter
gifts and presents at the time of nikaah:
i. Presents should be given within
one's means (it is not permissible to take loans, on interest, for such
ii. To give necessary items;
iii. A show should not be made of whatever is given.
17. It is Sunnah for the bridegroom's
family to make waleemah.
NOTE: In waleemah, whatever is easily
available should be fed to the people and care should be taken that there
is no extravagance, show and that no debts are incurred in the process.
18. To delay nikaah after the engagement is
In aping Western methods sheepishly,
Muslims have adopted many customs which are un-Islaamic
and frowned upon.
Some examples are:
i . Displaying the bride on stage;
ii . Inviting guests for the wedding
from far-off places;
iii . Receiving guests in the hall;
iv. The bride's people
incurring unnecessary expenses by holding a feast which has no basis in Sharee'ah. We should remember that waleemah
is the feast arranged by the bridegroom after the marriage is consummated;
v. It is contrary to Sunnah
(and the practice of some non-Muslim tribes in India) to wish, hope for or demand presents and gifts
for the bridegroom, from the bride's people. We should always remember
that our Nabee sallallahu
alayhi wasallam did
not give Ali radhiyallahu anhu
anything except du'aa
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