ISLAMIC WEDDINGS

 

1. The many customs as regards engagement are contrary to Sunnah. In fact, many are against the Sharee'ah and are regarded sins. A verbal proposal and answer is sufficient.
   2. To unnecessarily delay nikaah of both the boy and the girl after having reached the age of marriage is incorrect.
   3. There is nothing wrong in inviting one's close associates for the occasion of nikaah. However, no special pains should be taken in gathering the people from far off places.
   4. It is appropriate that the bridegroom be a few years older than the bride.
   5. If the father of the girl is an aalim or pious and capable of performing nikaah, then he should himself solemnize the marriage.
   6. It is better to give the Mahr Faatimi and one should endeavour to do so. But if one does not have the means then there is nothing wrong in giving less.
   7. It is totally un-Islaamic for those, who do not possess the means, to incur debts in order to have grandiose weddings.
   8. It is fallacy to think that one's respect will be lost if one does not hold an extravagant wedding and invite many people. What is our respect compared to that of Rasoolullah sallallahu alayhi wasallam?
   9. The present day practice of the intermingling of sexes is an act of sin and totally against Sharee'ah.
   10. There is nothing such as engagement parties and mendhi parties in Islaam.
   11. Great care must be taken as regards to Salaat on occasions of marriage by all - the bride, the bridegroom and all the participants.
   12. It is un-Islaamic to display the bride on stage.
   13. The unnecessary expenses incurred by the bride's family in holding a feast has no basis in Sharee'ah.
   14. For the engaged couple to meet at a public gathering where the boy holds the girl's hand and slips a ring on her finger is a violation of the Qur'aanic law of hijaab.
   15. It is un-Islaamic for the engaged couple to meet each other and also go out together.
   16. Three things should be borne in mind when giving one's daughter
   gifts and presents at the time of nikaah:
   
   i. Presents should be given within one's means (it is not permissible to take loans, on interest, for such presents);
   ii. To give necessary items;
   iii. A show should not be made of whatever is given.
   17.  It is Sunnah for the bridegroom's family to make waleemah.
   
   NOTE: In waleemah, whatever is easily available should be fed to the people and care should be taken that there is no extravagance, show and that no debts are incurred in the process.
   
   18. To delay nikaah after the engagement is un-Islaamic.
   
   SOME CUSTOMS
   
   In aping Western methods sheepishly, Muslims have adopted many customs which are un-Islaamic and frowned upon.
   Some examples are:
   i . Displaying the bride on stage;
   ii . Inviting guests for the wedding from far-off places;
   iii . Receiving guests in the hall;
   iv.  The bride's people incurring unnecessary expenses by holding a feast which has no basis in Sharee'ah. We should remember that waleemah is the feast arranged by the bridegroom after the marriage is consummated;
   v.  It is contrary to Sunnah (and the practice of some non-Muslim tribes in India) to wish, hope for or demand presents and gifts for the bridegroom, from the bride's people. We should always remember that our Nabee sallallahu alayhi wasallam did not give Ali radhiyallahu anhu anything except du'aa

 

 

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