HOW TO LOWER YOUR GAZE
Verily all
praise and thanks is due to Allah, we thank and praise Him and we
seek His aid and depend upon Him and we ask Him for forgiveness and
seek refuge in Him from the evils of ourselves and the wickedness of
our deeds. Whoever Allah guides there is no one who can lead him
astray, and whoever Allah leads astray there is none who can guide
him. I testify that there is nothing deserving of worship in truth
except Allah Who is Alone and without any partner and I bear witness
that Muhammad is the slave servant and final Prophet and Messenger of
Allah. Verily the most truthful and correct speech is the Book of
Allah and best of guidance is the guidance of Muhammad (sallallahu
alaihi wa sallam). The worst of all matters in religion are those
newly invented matters and each invented matter is a forbidden
innovation and every forbidden innovation is a straying and every
straying is in the fire.
"If I were not a Muslim, I
would have contracted AIDS" proclaimed my friend. "The
ayats in Sura Nur about lowering our gazes doesn't affect me
anymore," expressed another youth, talking about the intense
temptations felt by today's young. Difficulty in lowering the gaze by
both the young and old is readily perceived on the street, weddings,
parties and even in the mosques. What has gone wrong? How can
Muslims, called by Allah, our Creator, the model community, the
custodians of Truth and the upholders of morality behave this way?
Why are we adopting the attitudes and routes of the kuffar? How can
we rectify ourselves? What follows is practical and straightforward
advice that can work for us and set us free from Satan's stronghold,
Inshaa Allah.
Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu 'alaihi wa
sallam), by way of warning and as a reminder said, "There
is nothing left after I go more dangerous to men than the temptations
of women." [Al-Bukhaari] Being optimistic, a ray of hope
was also wisely provided during the Prophet's Last Sermon "There
are two things I have left that if the Ummah holds on to they will
never go astray the Book of Allah and my Sunnah."
[Al-Haakim] When Allah created humans with all our desires and urges,
he also revealed to us sufficient and complete guidance to properly
channel these desires, both in the midst of Dar-ul-Kufr or
Dar-ul-Islam. All we need to do is seek it, contemplate on it and
pursue it. "This
day I have perfected your deen for you, completed my favors upon you
and chosen Islam as your deen."
(Al-Maida 5:4)
We should realize the fact the great
companions (radiallahu 'anhum) were human beings also. Biologically
they were no different from us. They had desires and temptations but
yet, they controlled themselves in the best of ways. We can do the
same, in shaa Allah. To possess sensual passions is human, to control
them is Muslim.
When confronted with an alluring situation
like passing by the opposite sex on the street, office or school,
Shaitan is constantly tempting us to glare at her/him with evil
thoughts. Shaitan is probably excitedly saying, with a big smile,
'Yes, yes, yes!' when we steer into the bait he is setting. During
these situations, we should immediately and consciously realize that
when we give a second or following glance we are obeying Satan. "O
you who believe, follow not the footsteps of the devil"
(24:21).
By immediately averting our gazes and disobeying Shaitan, we are
giving him a "one-two" punch in the face, leaving him
frustrated and accursed.
Shaitan rebelled and was expelled by
Allah, so let's all rebel against Shaitan and expel him from our
hearts. Shaitan intends to fight a war against Muslims, so let's
gather our forces behind the Qur'aan and the Sunnah and defeat him.
Remember that even if no human eye is watching us, the Ever-Watchful
Allah is constantly monitoring the innermost regions of our hearts.
Our eyes, limbs, tongue and private parts will be witnesses on the
Day of Ressurection and not an atom's worth of deeds will remain
unexamined. Our minds are conditioned to associate thoughts of
stealing clothes from a store to being in handcuffs and hauled into a
police van. Likewise, we should condition our minds to bring the
verses of Surah An-Nur in front of our eyes during any tempting
situations and imagine that Allah is speaking to us directly: "Say
to the believing, men that they should lower their gaze and guard
their modesty. O you believers! Turn you all together towards Allah
that you may attain success"
(24:30-31) If the Qur'aan contained only these two ayats, it would be
enough to convince me that it is the book of Allah.
With
practice, these associations and the remembrance of Allah during
tempting situations will prevent us from getting stuck by devilish
arrows. Successfully controlling our gazes also increases our
avoidance of sinful situations. An Islamic idiom says, "Anything
that leads to haram is haram in itself." To do a pious deed
earns a reward; to avoid a sin earns a reward too.
One of the
biggest culprits in this class is movies. In the name of
entertainment, to please our peers and children and an excuse to do
something together as a family, we astonishingly allow un-Islamic
pictures and dialogues in front of our eyes and ears. Can we ever
imagine (a'udhubillah) any sahaba renting the latest hit from
Blockbuster Video, or listening to music with alluring lyrics at high
volume?
Likewise we watch news on TV and stare at the anchor
women, adorned in heavy make-up, scanty clothing and seductive smile.
Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu 'alaihi wa
sallam), was once approached by a woman with a proposal for marriage.
He took a single glance at her face and turned his face away. Jabir
bin Abdullah (radiallahu 'anhu) reported: I asked Allah's messenger
about the sudden glance on the face of a non-mahram. He commanded me
that I should turn away my eyes. (Muslim) Thus, we are not
supposed to stare at faces of non-mahram females, be they are our
fellow students, our elders, saleswomen or someone on TV. In our
wedding ceremonies and parties and even in many Islamic fundraising
dinners, there is heavy free-mixing between brothers and sisters.
Often the chairs of males and females are arranged facing each other,
knowing that about ninety percent of our sisters do not wear hijab.
It is often noticeable to see males and females peeking glances at
each other from the opposite ends of the hall. A big curtain is not
my intention, but a big iman and befitting Islamic manners is.
The
Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu 'alaihi wa sallam) said, "Verily
a woman who is perfumed and passes by men and they smell her scent,
is called a zaaniyah (fornicatress or adultress) in the heavens"
[Ahmed and others with a hasan isnaad, Saheeh Al-Jaami' 2701].
Compare this with our sisters who clad themselves with expensive
perfume, one kilogram of makeup, and then come to mixed gatherings.
Will this not attract the attention of males? Let's be real. We have
lowered our moral guards so low that a humble word of truth often
seems so awfully strange. Let us contemplate the above humble advice
and constantly make the supplication, "O Allah help us control
our sensual desires until we get married, and even after we marry,
let our desires be only towards our spouses.
In the Name
of Allah, the Most Merciful, Bestower Of Mercy
COPING
WITH SEXUAL DESIRE
Islam, being a complete and total way of life that is the
most beneficial for all mankind, recognizes the natural built-in
urges that occur in every healthy normal mature human being. For this
reason we find, as usual, the best of guidance in the Qur'aan and the
authentic sunnah for how to deal with sexual matters. The following
article will provide a general outline on just what Islam prescribes
in this important area of life.
It should first be mentioned
that Islam encourages healthy and lawful sexual activity. Sex itself
is neither a taboo subject nor a preoccupation. It has been dealt
with at length and detail in nearly every aspect by scholars of
Islam, not as a means of titillation, but in order to guide the ummah
of Muhammad in this basic and vital area of life so they can live in
a manner that Allah Most High is pleased with. Free and wanton sexual
practices are proven unhealthy physically and psychologically and
have a tremendous negative impact upon society whereas when people
conduct themselves according to the divine guidelines set down by
Islam, sexual behavior is both controlled and beneficial for
individuals and society.
"Some scholars have concluded
that the human being should pledge 1) To walk at least a minimum
distance every day 2) To feed his stomach at regular intervals 3) Not
to abstain from having lawful sexual intercourse..." [Zaad
Al-Ma'ad]
We find that the following general points are
advised for people from the Qur'aan and sunnah that afford the
believer the means to control his or her self and properly channel
their desires. Indeed, the major role of Islam is to provide human
beings the means by which they can control themselves, develop in
righteousness and fulfill their roles as slaves of Allah.
1.Remembrance of Allah (i.e. through reading and
understanding the Qur'aan and Sunnah and seeking refuge in Allah from
the whisperings of Shaitan and keeping Allah constantly in mind.
2.Fasting
3.Lowering the gaze
4.Marriage
5.Staying
away from bad company
6.Staying away from places of temptation
(fitnah)
The benefits of lawful sexual intercourse are that
it protects one's eyes from looking at what is unlawful, it preserves
one's chastity and helps to control one's desire and lust against
what is unlawful and of course is the means through which society may
flourish. Anas Ibn Malik (radiallahu 'anhu) said that "the
Prophet (sallallahu 'alaihi wa sallam) use to command us to marry and
forbid celibacy severely and say, 'Marry women who are very prolific
and loving, for I shall outnumber the prophets by you on the Day of
Resurrection.'" [Ahmed, Ibn Hibban, Abu Dawud,
An-Nasaa'i]. Also Allah's Messenger (sallallahu 'alaihi wa
sallam) said, "Yet I pray and sleep; I
fast and break my fast; and I marry women. He who desires other than
my sunnah is not my follower". He (sallallahu 'alaihi wa sallam)
also said, "O young men, whoever among you has the means to
establish a family, he should get married, for marriage preserves the
chastity of one's eyes and sexual organ, and whoever cannot afford to
establish a family, he must fast from desiring sex, for abstention in
that case will protect him from sin." [Al-Bukhaari &
Muslim]
Islam even provides guidance as to sexual conduct
between spouses and one can read these details in the works of the
scholars and in the hadeeth. Notable in this regard is the work of
Ibn Qayyim Al-Jowiyyah (b. 1292 d. 1350 CE) who dealt with the
subject in detail in his famous book Zaad Al-Ma'aad Fi Huda
Khairil-'Ibaad. He deals with what is permissible, recommended and
forbidden with regards to sexual conduct and every married Muslim as
well as those about to be married should seek such knowledge.
Islam
forbids sex outside the lawful marriage tie, and it strictly forbids
homosexuality, bestiality and any other harmful or deviant practices.
It also provides measures through its laws and ethics to prevent such
sinful behavior along with appropriate punishment for those who do
so. One of the major causes of sexual immorality today is the absence
of limits in many so-called modern societies. This permissive
attitude is propagated through the popular media, especially TV and
films where prohibited sex is glamorized and encouraged.
Also
books, songs and poetry encourage and stimulate the sexual urge among
men and women to the point where they can no longer refrain from
indulging in what Allah has made forbidden for them. Those who are
responsible for the spread of these mediums among society and
especially among Muslims have a heavy burden to bear upon their
shoulders on the Day of Resurrection.
Constant exposure to
the opposite sex or to whatever affords a person the opportunity to
indulge in concentration upon them can lead to sexual obsession. Once
a person is put in this position "...they will find themselves
under constant, irresistible, and compelling influence to engage in
sex." [Zaad Al-Ma'aad] Allah Himself refers to this when talking
about women's erotic passion and in relation to the sexual inversion
of the men engaged in homosexuality and pedophilia.
The first
instance is that which is related in the story of Yusuf (alaihi
salaam) and the uncontrollable desire of the wife of the Aziz for.
The second can be found in the story of the people of Lot
('alaihi salaam) who sought to satisfy their perverted lusts with the
guests of Lot ('alaihi salaam) and ultimately Allah destroyed them.
[See Al-Qur'aan Chapter 15]
Ibn Qayyim writes: "Fascination
and attraction to physical forms, objects, pictures, statues, idols,
books, portraitures, museums, images, arts, nature, beauty, scenery,
or obsession and pride about one's own beauty or self sometimes
develop into an abnormal excitability and is an illness that must be
treated as such. These are creations, and fascination with the
creation is a mask that obstructs one's recognition of his Creator. A
heart that is filled with love for Allah will see life in this world
from a different depth." How true ring such words in these times
when films and magazines bombard our senses that our designed to make
us focus on the "sexy" celebrity and that have the main
theme of how one can make themselves sexually attractive!
We
thank Allah Who has told us, "It is He who created you from a
single being and out of that, He created its mate, so that he may
enjoy the pleasure of living with her" [Al-Qur'aan 7:189] Allah
has made the nature of mating congruity between man and woman based
on love for they are of like nature and the core of peace and
tranquility between them is love. Real satisfaction is not merely
based on beauty, looks, intention, goal, will, character, or
spiritual attainment, though such elements can help to bring about
love, peace and tranquility.
The overemphasis in society on
physical beauty and constant exposure or preoccupation with the
opposite sex undermines the ability of people to apply wisdom, logic
and sound reasoning to overcome desires. This is where the wisdom of
keeping good company and staying away form the places of temptation
(fitnah) is so crucial, for bad companions will surely do nothing but
encourage the wrong behavior. The closest and constant companion for
many is the television which is the worst of companions and a center
of fitnah, not to mention actual supposed friends who are but
shayateen in disguise who call to corruption and immorality by
various means.
We must avoid both. Certainly places where men
and women freely mix are a great cause of temptation. Take any
college campus or even work environment in the west (or even in
Muslim countries where adherence to hijaab and separation of the
sexes is lax or non-existent) and you will naturally find a higher
incidence of unlawful premarital and extramarital relations between
the sexes. The same applies to situations where men and women have
many opportunities to be alone together.
As Ibn Qayyim said
with regards to being infatuated and giving the degree of love to
others that belongs only to Allah : "...love for other than
Allah is polytheism, and since Allah created one heart for each human
being, the focus of such a heart should not be divided...we can say
that love for other than Allah is wine for the spirit, and an
intoxicant that can cloud one's clarity, and obscure one's real
purpose. It inebriates the mind, impairs one's proper functions,
occupies the heart from concentrating on the remembrance of
Allah...occupying one's heart with attachment and love for someone
else besides Allah breaks up one's devotion, for the heart naturally
adores its beloved, and that is worship ('ibaadah)."
Allah
is most Wise and the guidelines He has laid down regarding lowering
the gaze, wearing hijaab, not being alone with the opposite sex who
is not mahram and not coming near to zinaa (illicit sex) are all for
our benefit in this life and the Hereafter and we ask Allah to guide
us to adhere to that which He has taught us, and that He and His
Prophet are the most beloved to us all Ameen.
References to
Ibn Qayyim's words was taken from the book "Natural Healing With
The Medicine Of The Prophet" Translation and Emendation by
Muhammad Al-Akili, Pearl Publishing House
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