Disobedience to Parents: A Major Sin
It is
the right of parents that their children should treat them with
kindness, obedience, and honor. Devotion to parents is a natural
instinct which must be strengthened by deliberate actions. The rights
of the mother are stressed the more because of her suffering
during pregnancy and childbirth, her suckling of the child, and her
role in rearing it. In the words of Allah Ta'ala: And We have
enjoined on man kindness to his parents. His mother carries him in
pain and she gives birth to him in pain, and (the period) of carrying
him and weaning him is thirty months....(46:15) Once a man came to
the Prophet (peace be on him) and asked, 'Who is most deserving
of my good companionship?' 'Your mother,' replied the Prophet
(peace be on him). 'Who next?' the man asked. 'Your mother,' replied
the Prophet (peace be on him). 'Who next?' he asked. 'Your mother,'
replied the Prophet (peace be on him). 'Who next?' asked the man.
'Your father,' replied the Prophet.(Reported by al-Bukhari and
Muslim.)
The Prophet (peace be on him) declared disobedience
to parents to be a major sin, second only to ascribing partners
to Allah, as has been stated in the Qur'an. Al-Bukhari and
Muslim report his saying, 'Shall I not inform you about the three
major sins?' Those who were present replied, 'Yes, O Messenger
of Allah.' He said 'Associating partners with Allah and
disobedience to parents,' and sitting up from the reclining
position, he continued, 'and telling lies and false testimony;
beware of it.' He also said, "Three persons shall not enter the
Garden: the one who is disobedient to his parents, the pimp,
and the woman who imitates men.'' (Reported by al-Nisai,
al-Bazzar on the authority of excellent transmitters, and al-Hakim)
and, "Allah defers (the punishment of) all sins to the Day of
Resurrection excepting disobedience to parents, for which Allah
punishes the sinner in this life before his death."(Reported
by al-Hakim, on the authority of sound
transmitters.)
Moreover, Islam emphasizes treating parents
kindly, especially when they grow old. As their strength fails,
they require more attention and care, and more consideration of
their even more sensitive feelings. Concerning this the Qur'an
says, Thy Lord hath decreed that you worship none but Him and
that you be kind to parents. If one or both of them attain old
age with thee, do not say a word of annoyance (Literally, "Do
not say Uff! (an expression of annoyance) to them."
(Trans.)) to them nor repulse them, but speak to them in
gracious words and in mercy lower to them the wing of humility
and say, My Lord, bestow Thy mercy othem, as they cherished me
when I was little....(17:23-24) In explaining this verse, a
commentator says, "If a lesser thing than saying 'Uff!' tparents
were known to Allah, He would have prohibited (even that)."
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